I’m So Tired, But I Can’t Sleep

by cedhausen

… though I’m not exactly standing on the edge of something much too deep. I don’t think my posts are that deep. They could be, but I don’t think I should test my brain’s limits. It’s already on overdrive as it is from all the other topics I want to talk about, but have no time to dwell in.

Still, it’s too lousy an excuse! I can’t stand saying or even imagine myself saying “I don’t have enough time for this or that” again and again. I recently came across a piece from Quartz on the twelve habits of highly productive writers, and while I don’t consider myself a highly productive writer, I definitely identify with the sentiment surrounding number 11 on the list: I don’t let myself off the hook. I know I still owe that additional piece, which, considering my schedule for the next two days, might only happen during the weekend. I just really didn’t expect work to take up so much of my time.

Actually, no, scratch that, if I’m being perfectly honest, it isn’t my work, but my writing habits. For me to begin writing, to actually start smashing letters onto a document, I’d have to first push an elephant off my seat. It’s a monumental task, and no matter the amount of coercion, it simply won’t budge. Not even for peanuts, though maybe for wasabi-coated almonds. It’s easily distracted and horrifically tiresome to move, but when it does, it’s unstoppable. It goes on this phlegmatic rampage that gains momentum, becoming increasingly erratic before arriving to a complete halt on the bed, wilted, deprived of the energy it momentarily had, allowing itself to accept slumber’s weightless embrace…

Oh my lord I’m not even lucid anymore. I better post the Photo of the Day before I slam my head on the table:

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This was taken in mid-November last year at Prambanan, Jogjakarta. A UNESCO World Heritage Site, the temple complex looks similar to Angkor Wat, but smaller in size. I thoroughly enjoyed taking photographs there, and had a fun time experimenting the limits of my GoPro camera, which produced shots like this:

DCIM285GOPRO Processed with VSCOcam with a6 preset

It’s impossible to fit all three temples inside the picture with a regular camera. The GoPro’s fisheye lens made quick work of that. The quality of the images isn’t as good as my iPhone’s, and I usually end up enhancing the colours a little, but what the camera is capable of capturing within a single frame usually outweighs these minor cons for me.

Anyway, the reason why I chose that particular image of Prambanan as today’s Photo of the Day was because of the massive downpour I experienced on the drive back from the airport a couple of hours ago, reminding me of a similar deluge I experienced with my parents at Prambanan. While it allowed me to capture that image with the broken reflection, we had been trapped inside a gazebo for a couple of hours, terribly wet and cold, before the rain subsided to a mere drizzle.

The rain today was terrifying. I don’t think I’ve ever been that conscious of other people’s driving as I tried to see through this veil of droplets shrouding my windscreen. It rained so heavily, I wasn’t confident that the other vehicles behind me could see my taillights, so I turned on my emergency lights as I drove. At one point, I was driving behind a chain of trucks that looked like massive beasts trudging through a blizzard with the wind whipping their backs. And like beasts, I wouldn’t want to alarm them by tailing them too closely. Every other car simply overtook them, but there was something calming about driving behind these beasts as it rained heavier and heavier…

… and so are my eyelids getting heavier and heavier my goodness I must excuse myself now lest I fail to even wake up tomorrow morning. I don’t want to skip breakfast again!

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